Author - Educator
A Parent's Guide to Successful Playdates, Recreation, and Family Events for Children with Autism
Families of children with autism know that including kids in everyday social activities and celebrations is not easy. But for the kids to gain a familiarity with the feels and nuances of natural social environments – which are different than the therapeutic environments where social skills are commonly worked on – special tools like the I.D.E.A.L. system can help children and their families begin to work with the needs and sensitivities that may routinely get in the way of successful social experiences. Parents need to know that they do not have to wait until their children have reached a certain social skills level before having them take part in activities with family and peers. By using the IDEAL system, which I introduce in this book, parents can learn to prepare and individualize their approach to social activities.
The letters in IDEAL stand for five necessary steps used to prepare for social activities, playdates, and outings. The I in IDEAL stands for “introduce the activity,” and I talk about several ways to do this. Again, parents individualize the approach for their child, so they will see there are different approaches for non-verbal children, low language children, and higher level spectrum children. For instance, some parents may find that using pictures or photos of the actual venue or house their child will be going to works well – this is called taking a “picture walk.” Others may find that short priming stories or social stories work well as activity introductions. D stands for “determine the tasks involved,” and this step involves breaking up each activity into a list of sequential parts or tasks. This step is really important because parents can determine by looking at each task which their child will be able to do independently and which ones will need to be prompted or assisted. Parents or others will see when to intervene, and can plan to intervene when the child may need extra help. E stands for “evaluate your expectations.” Parents also individualize here, as they look at their expectations – sometimes an activity can go well for a period of time, but may go down hill as the activity length extends beyond a child’s stamina or self-regulation ability. The duration the child will spend at an activity needs to be looked at, as well as whether the social activity is good match – for instance, can the child use any of his/her strengths at the activity? Parents need to determine what activities or pieces of activites their child can truly handle at that moment in time or at that time of day. A stands for “accommodate for success,” and parents can plan to make accommodations that will help their child participate successfully in these activites. Accommodations can be something as simple as bringing a set of headphones for children that have sensitivity to sound, or different foods or snacks for a child that is on a special diet. Another example of an accommodation would be asking a group of children to sing the ‘happy birthday song’ in whisper voices. And lastly, L stands for “list the activity components visually.” Many children with autism – but not all – are highly visual, and seeing exactly what they will be doing before each step or task happens helps to alleviate anxiety and confusion. When children are in novel situations and unable to process and/or respond as well as do in familiar environments, or when they are unable to access some of their skills, having a visual crutch to rely on helps them immensely. Some children are more comfortable with pictures, while other children like to look at a list of words or sentences.
It is a myth that children with autism do not want to be social, and there is way we can approach social activities, recreation, and family events that can help make being socially included successful for children with autism.
I’d love to hear how using I.D.E.A.L. has worked for you!
All the best,
Laurie LeComer
"This book has practical solutions and great strategies that will no doubt help you and your kids get out and enjoy!"
-Jenny McCarthy, New York Times bestselling author
"Chock-full of practical methods for teaching children with autism. Great for both parents and teachers."
-Temple Grandin, author of Thinking in Pictures
"This book is an indispensable resource to empower parents with practical, hands-on help as we seek to reconnect our kids with the real world."
-Lynn M. Hamilton, parent and author of Facing Autism: Giving Parents Reasons for Hope and Guidance for Help
"When you're the parent of a child with autism, you know how vitally important it is to increase you child's social skills--and how challenging a task that can be. Thankfully, LeComer offers concrete strategies for facilitating your child's social interactions."
-Claire LaZebnik, coauthor of Overcoming Autism and Growing Up on the Spectrum
"Children with autism and autism spectrum disorders can benefit significantly from inclusion in family, community, and school activities...Parents and family members will find this an invaluable resource."
-Fred R. Volkmar, M.D., Director, Yale Child Study Center
"LeComer truly 'gets it', as my son would say, and has come up with practical, easy-to-use strategies to make social activities successful for the child with autism and enjoyable for everyone else. Knowing your child and planning for these events is key. The I.D.E.A.L system LeComer has developed is a great tool. I highly recommend this book."
-Chantal Sicile-Kira, author of Autism Life Skills
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